New Lyrics to an Old Tune

When I was starting high school (or maybe a year before) I distinctly remember the "True Love Waits" craze. It was a huge national phenomenon, worthy of news footage of acres of pledge cards on popsicle sticks in the ground. I participated, as did many of my peers, receiving a gold band that was to be worn on my ring finger until my wedding day. The church has always been really good at saying "no" and "don't," but in your teens and early twenties, sometimes more of an explanation is needed (not to mention some coaching along the way). In a perfect world, everything goes as planned and good intentions are enough. But, as you may have figured out in your own life, we don't live in a perfect world.



Often, non-Christians get the impression that the Christian church is full of hypocrites. After a bad experience with "church people" it's easy to get turned off. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of hypocrites. Even Jesus himself said (in the Bible) that not everyone who claims to know Him, will be on the side of the Heavenly gates that they expect to. Theology of salvation is another blog, but the point I want to make (in order to connect my previous train of thought) is that a lot of Christians aren't so much hypocrites, as we are FORGIVEN. We are ALL sinners. Everyone on the planet. No exceptions. Jesus was the only man who ever walked this earth to be perfect. Even people who are "good" and have morals--and, yes, even Christians--are SINNERS. But the difference between the real, wholehearted Christians and all the good (and not-so-good) people, is that if you ask Jesus into you're heart, and believe in all that He is and did, and live your life following His teaching, striving to be more like Him, then you are covered by His GRACE. Christians still sin. But by the grace of God, we are forgiven, because Jesus died in our place and took the punishment. It's hardly something our human brains can grasp, but it's real.
Now, the connection... no matter what junk is in our past, we get a do-over. Like in the video games, when your character is killed, you still have another life to try and do something different and conquer the game. But unlike the games, we always (until death or rapture) have an extra life, in order to try and do it right.

So, no matter where you are or where you've been, hear me from this point on. You get a do-over. [If you're reading this and you're not a Christian and want to be, please email or comment me and I'll contact you and you can ask me anything. If I don't have an answer, I'll find someone wiser than me who does.]

I attended a class this weekend for my marriage & family therapy degree about human sexuality. This was not just a physiology or anatomy lesson. This was about God's design for our sexuality and how it functions in a healthy, Christian context. One of the books required for the class is called Soul Virgins. One of the co-authors is actually one of the teachers whom I had the pleasure of listening to this weekend, Dr. Doug Rosenau. Dr. Doug has researched and read and laid out an amazing theology for God's design for sexuality. Soul Virgins is very plain that true sex is to be saved for a covenant marriage relationship--we're taught that all our lives in church!! BUT, this book goes on to describe WHY it is so important. Not because God will strike us down (though there are consequences) and not because it will keep us out of heaven (though it does grieve God when we distort something so beautiful). There are reasons, bigger and more amazing than we can imagine, for us to maintain not only our physical virginity until marriage, but also for maintaining a much broader sense of purity. It's not just a "because I said so" answer. He gives godly reasons and practical understanding for how to approach relationships and how to deal with our sexuality as single people, without falling into sinful behavior.
There is so much more to it than I can write here and still be comprehensive, but I wanted to scream it from the rooftops and encourage all of my single friends (or married friends who have single friends or single teenagers, etc) to read this book. It's given me a whole new way to look at friendships and relationships--a whole new way of relating to people. Please get it, and read it--I promise it will be worth your time!

Social Experiments

As a therapist-in-training, I've decided to be more aware of people around me. Not just 'close' around me, (which would be beneficial, as well) but humanity as a whole. I like watching people in different environments.



A lot of people confess to enjoying "people watching" but often we are too self-involved to even consider this option. I know I usually am. So, the other night I went somewhere out of my normal social circle. Initially, I was more worried about ME...and how I looked and how I was being perceived and what people were thinking of me. Then, when I had acclimated to my surroundings, I started noticing other people and their behaviors. I found it so interesting. Some people's actions were so predictable--some funny and some were actually sad. Other behaviors were surprisingly random. I cannot detach myself to do these experiments all the time, but when I can, I look forward to the results. My next "scheduled" experiment will be on October 4th, when I shall find myself at a Metallica concert. [VERY out of character for me!] It shouldn't be hard to detach myself there. And I am sure that what I find will be quite amusing. :)

It's About Time!!

I know, for anyone who has kept up with me in the past, you probably think that I've fallen off the planet. But, for some new friends who really enjoy blogs, I've been inspired to catch up on my blogging! :)
I haven't posted anything here in over a year, so a lot has happened. Most people have kept up on networking sites, but I'll give a quick overview, just in case, before I start writing regularly.
Last summer's plans to go to China fell through and instead I filled those months with visiting friends and family all over the U.S. It was a bit stressful (I don't love airports), but mostly I enjoyed myself and all of the pleasure reading I was able to do (yay Twilight!). Someone who was quickly becoming a good long distance friend helped me find a place to rent in TN, where I planned to settle for a while and get ready for grad school. I moved into a small [crackerbox] house, where I paid rent for 8 months as I began to work, apply for school and build friendships. Then, in March of this year, I left my rental house to move into my very own house! It's not perfect, but I love it! I hope to slowly do some remodeling and really spruce it up.

In the meantime, there have been other adjustments. I started grad school in January at Richmont Graduate University (formerly PSI). It's a small grad school specializing in Christian counseling degrees with two campuses (one here in Chattanooga, and one in Atlanta). It has been hard learning to be a student again. I'm noticing some deficiencies in time management and motivation at times... but I'm getting there. I do love what I'm learning, though; I can't decide if the theology or the psychology is more interesting. I could do without summer and occasional weekend classes, however. :( If I can stay on track, I think I will graduate in May 2012. We'll see...

I have had trouble getting comfortable enough to find a church home here, but I think I might have finally found my niche. After some time has passed, and I settle in there, I will blog more about it. I really like the people there, the music, the "college" group, and the co-ed volleyball team I've decided to attempt that started this past week. Two hours of that is a great workout!

Speaking of workouts, I found a gym here that I love and am trying to go regularly. Since fall semester just started, I've got to get a good routine going. It's a really great place, though. It's an all-women's gym with great facilities, including steam room, sauna, fireplace room, awesome cardio equipment (complete with a cardio-cinema)...oh, and my favorite thing is the calendar of great classes! Lots of motivation to keep pushing yourself when everyone around you is doing it. They even call you if you don't come in for a while...they miss me!

A lot of things are evening out and I'm really enjoying living in Tennessee. One thing that kept my stress level high this last year was the stroke and subsequent illness of my dear, sweet Gran-Gran. After several months of deterioration, she went home to be the Lord on July 26. :( I miss her a lot, but I smile when I think of her and Jason sitting around talking. She loved him so much, right from the start. It's been over two years and I still have days of heartache. The most recent was only yesterday, when I found out one of my fellow army 'sisters' lost her love. I felt myself reliving that day, the numbness, the dull ache in my chest...the lost, empty feeling that just lingers. Still, I know, like I did on May 6, 2007, God is fully in control and He can heal broken hearts.

It is past bedtime and I'm overdue for sleep. Check back and I will try to keep up from now on. :)
In His Grace,
Em

I know, I know....

I'm late with the updates, yes! :( So, better late than never, here goes....
I flew back to the States on June 22nd. It was a late night, but I made it. I had a great two weeks with my friends and family in the South. My grandmother was beside herself, she was so excited to see me. Also grateful for her custom made jalaba that I brought back as a souvenir for her.


My cute little nephew (Scooter) Kaden is now using the big boy potty, so he also has a big boy haircut--they cut off all his beautiful curls!!
I also got to see my new "niece" Ella Kate (Eleanor Katherine) and my best friend Juli. I had a blast doing a little photo shoot with Eleanor. I'm still a total amateur, but I have fun doing it anyway.




I spent a few days taking care of business at the bank and meeting with my accountant (not so fun) and a couple days getting some summer clothes that fit. I was able to spend a day with my friend Cara in Birmingham.
My first real Sunday home was hard. Since it was the Sunday before the 4th of July, our church celebrated God & Country Day. I'm glad they do it, and it was beautiful, but I practically cried a river. I don't think I'll ever hear Taps and not cry now. Or the National Anthem, either, for that matter. [I cried at graduation when the Star-Spangled Banner was sung. I didn't expect it that time...]





So overall, it was a great visit back home.
On July 2nd, I met some friends up in Huntsville for dinner. I was spending the night in town and flying to Seattle the next day, on my way to China for two months. That next morning, hours before my flight, I got an email from my would-be boss in China telling me that some things had come up and they weren't going to be able to bring me over.... Just like that! I wasn't mad or sad or anything, but it felt weird--all of the sudden, I didn't have any plans and didn't know what to do. Since I'd already bought my flight to WA and I wanted to visit friends, I got on that plane and flew to Seattle. I had a great 4th of July weekend with friends on the lake (a little more sunshine would have been nice, but--hey!--it's Washington!)



I've been able to relax and chill. My friends from church have been more than accommodating in loaning out bedrooms and apartments. While I have been spending some time with friends, I have had some nice alone time, too. I read over 1600 pages in about a week...a series I'm totally hooked on! (Twilight books) I'm itching to read the next one that comes out on August 2nd (and the movie comes out Dec. 12).
Now that I'm not going to China, I'm going to take a short trip to Sacramento to see my awesome friend, Emily ;) then hang out in WA for another week before flying south to see my mom in Florida for a couple of weeks.
After that I really do have to get some things in order: a job, an apartment, GRE this fall, then grad school in January.
More to follow and I'll try to do better with my updates.

Honoring Heros

I read recently that the U.S. soldier death toll in Iraq just hit 4,000. That means more women & men are losing their husbands, wives, fiancees, brothers, sisters, more parents are losing their sons & daughters, and more little children are losing their mommies & daddies. I don't pretend to understand or know why, but I trust that God is still in control. And I'm really thankful when people recognize and remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. One of my military brothers (we're all one big family, you know), one of Jason's comrades, sent me these pictures of the 3rd Brigade Memorial on Fort Lewis (Washington). I'm pretty sure that anyone who knew these men doesn't need a statue to remember them, but I'm really proud that they are being honored in such a way.

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Okay, I was brainstorming a little and decided that the best way to show people pictures without uploading a billion of them to this site, was to post the link for my most recent photobucket album. As it turns out, when I added the pics from Rome, I didn't realize I was adding them to my existing album, which is other miscellaneous pictures from Africa. So, enjoy the show!! :) [copy and paste in your browser window]

http://s266.photobucket.com/albums/ii259/pongohrkns/?albumview=slideshow

Spring Has Sprung!!

Yes, I know. I'm absolutely atrocious at keeping up with this blog. It could be worse, though. I immensely enjoyed visiting my family at Christmas. It was nice to see everyone, but it was a whirlwind visit for sure! I flew into Georgia to visit with a friend and see some of Jason's family. I'm so proud of my amazing brother-in-law. He'll graduate in a few months and then join the Navy. He's grown up so much in the (just under) three years that I've known him. From GA I went to Alabama to see my dad, and the rest of my family. Of course, I had to make a quick run to TN so that I could see my mom and catch up with my best friend Juli. I'm really blessed to have internet and a U.S. phone line in Africa, but there's nothing like plopping down on the couch across from an old friend to have a heart-to-heart. Before I knew it, I was on a plane back to this country I'm (temporarily) calling "home."
Now it is already spring and only about 3 1/2 months left in the school year. All the signs of spring are here: greenery, love, babies and allergies!! The greenery actually got here in January, because that when it rains here. (Though we actually had a nice rain shower today!) It has continued to get more beautiful in the areas that contain flowers and foliage. Our yard, which is heavily populated with trees and flowers, smells so nice!
Love is in the air, too. My roommate and her boyfriend got engaged last month and are currently planning a wedding. It's been really exciting to see their relationship bloom since the beginning of the year. They're both amazing people and I'm happy for them! :) I've also been updated periodically about friends at home getting engaged and married. Hmmmm...there must be something in the water!
There seems to be quite a baby boom as well. One of my best friends, Juli, is expecting in May (in the states) and here in Africa, my friend Anne is due in April! There are a few more, too...(I sure hope THAT is not catching!!) :) I'm excited to be a (pseudo) aunt again.
Which reminds me... My precious nephew, Kaden, just turned 3! I can't believe it. He's getting so big and I'm looking forward to being closer to him this fall. It was really neat, while I was home at Christmas, to have him get excited to see me and remember who I am. He has affectionately named me "NayNay" but we have no idea where he got it. I can't help but look for little trinkets for him when I go on weekend or vacation travels. A little present for Kaden actually started the "Bill the Traveling Bunny" saga, which will be forthcoming--with pictures!!
So, it is March and the month has been packed with odds and ends. Last weekend I attended part 1 (of 2) of a Sharpening Your Interpersonal Skills workshop. It was really great, but definitely emotionally draining. It sucked up the whole weekend, yet I know that in the long run it will be very beneficial. This weekend is long because of holidays, and I'm helping with a local youth conference. That too, should be rewarding in its own special way. In the course of the next month, we'll finish up our third quarter at school, I'll celebrate my 27th birthday, attend part 2 of the workshop, and head out for a Spring Break!! :) I've been really fortunate to do some traveling during my time here. Being on this side of the Atlantic already, it cuts a lot of costs and makes these little vacations possible. I'm not finished with my world travels, yet, either. Unless I get a divine neon sign advising otherwise, I'm making plans to teach for 6 weeks in China this summer. It's conversational English in a city about five hours from Beijing and all of the expenses will be paid (I may put out a little of my own money and try to make it to some kind of Olympic game!!). But after China (and visiting some friends, stateside) I hope to take the GRE and eventually start grad school in January. I want to get my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from a school in Chattanooga. Right now, my heart is leaning towards working with military families. Now, of course, that sounds like a lot of planning over the next several months... it is. I can only hope and pray that I'm following the Father's will. I know I can trust that He'll lead me in the right direction and change my plans when necessary. I've been there and done that!! And while changes can be frustrating in the moment, I know He works all things for the good of those who love Him. After all, "a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps."